The Blues -- A Lesson Learned

Running is a thermometer that measures my mental, physical and spiritual stability. A series of "bad runs" usually means something is out of whack somewhere. An inability to run therefore removes that barometer, and one avenue for knowing that something needs to change.

Even more importantly I've learned that running can also be a thermostat; it is one of the most successful means for changing health and moods. Had I realized that sooner, I'd have had a mentally healthier winter (though this hasn't been a horribly depressing winter, just a bit difficult).

Since running is also about analysis and redirection, I'm sharing the lesson learned, and planning to be more proactive about my exercise routines (and changes therein) in the future.

In a previous post I talked about a couple injuries: my Achilles after a race in September and my hip after a fall around Thanksgiving time. Both hampered my running and exercise routine. I read recently that a person whose exercise levels are lowered needs to cut their calorie intake by about 20 percent to compensate for the decreased energy needs. I didn't and gained a bit of weight, which is slowly coming off.

But a drop in exercise can also lower your mood, leading some folks (like me) to depression. Most people who exercise regularly experience mood elevation, as a direct result of the exercise. In fact I have read about therapists who now counsel some of their clients while walking or jogging. They have found that these folks heal faster than those who just talk. Just as exercise improves mood, a sudden drop in exercise levels may leave a person at risk of developing depression or lowered moods because they don't get those endorphins that keep their moods at a steady state. Runner's World magazine recently told the story of a female marathon runner whose running routine was abruptly stopped; she nearly committted suicide.

Winter alone makes me a bit depressed. The lack of sunshine always lowers my mood some, but it's also harder to maintain my exercise levels since cold outdoor air is hard on my asthmatic lungs. Combine the usual lack of sunshine with a reduced exercise level, and my depression level has elevated a bit. I see now the injuries and resulting cut in exercise has actually created three problems: weight gain, lowered physical health, and more blue periods.

So in the future if an injury or change in routine forces a change in my running and exercise routine, I'll make three changes: lower the number of calories I take in to reflect the reduced caloric needs; adapt my routine or type of exercise so I can find ways to keep moving; and find some way to keep my moods more positive --by increasing time with people, spending time in a tanning booth to bring in artificial sunshine, increasing volunteer time .... anything to stay more upbeat.

Valentine's Day

Nelson & me: Valentine's Day 2006 (photo by Nelson).





Valentine's Day memories. Most people have lots of them -- those cute little cards we gave our friends in elementary school. My dad gave us kids a small heart shaped box of candy each year and he gave Mom a big box of chocolate and roses, her favorite flower. Last year Nelson made the lamp (in the left photo) for me, the sand inside the heart is from the east and west coasts of Florida, where we vacationed with his family a year ago. The darker sand is from one coast and the lighter from the other. When he gave it to me he reminded me of God's heart toward us, that he takes our sin as far away as the east is from the west. The lamp has other symbolism as well -- like the candle in the globe representing Jesus, the Light of the World, and the way we are supposed to be light, sharing God's love with others.
This year, since we both live in the same town now, we actually got to go on a date right on Valentine's Day. That was fun -- dressing up to go out for Chinese food and to watch a movie.

Pastor Colin

Meet Pastor Colin, who in his first year and a half at First Presbyterian Church of Victor, has seen about 45 new members join the church. Also a songwriter and musician, he often stops the action in the office so he can play his newest song. Rules are, "You can tell me if you like it, but you can't say anything bad about it." I've never even been tempted. (By the way I can get you a copy of his CD for $10; another is coming out in the summer. Send an e-mail to office@victorpres.org).
The congregation and other staff members refer to him as "God's gift to First Presbyterian". I'd have to agree that his ministry has been a gift to the congregation and to me. It's been about eight years since I worked in a church. In fact, up until a year and a half ago, it had been nearly five years since I'd attended church with any regularity. And here I am working as the church's administrative assistant. The experience has been one of God's gifts to me.
Pastor Colin lets me do what I do best with free reign and very little criticism. If there is criticism it's pragmatically and gently given. And every piece of criticism comes with ten times as much praise and affirmation.
He's just as quick about asking for advice, suggestions and prayer concerning the difficult tasks he faces. And there have been plenty of those already this year: two funerals for beloved congregants, illnesses at home and within the congregation, tough decisions that must be made. Pastor began this morning's staff meeting by reading from a book by Max Lucado. Imagine that Jesus did everything you did today. Imagine that he took your place at work. That he watched the things you watch, read the things you read. Imagine that he did the very things on your agenda today. What would be different? Facial expressions? attitude? Jesus lived and died so he could change our heart, so that over time we become more and more like him in attitude and thought.
I think that devotional choice speaks as much about Pastor's heart, as it does about the type of "heart" he wants in First Pres (in staff, membership and leadership). Beginning with the New Year, Pastor has been emphasizing prayer, which is the only way that type of heart can be developed, because only God Himself can create clean hearts and right attitudes. I'm thinking this is also a great way to mend a broken heart, and I pray that a lot of broken hearts are mended through the ministry at First Pres--including mine.

Lungs

More than ten years ago, I punctured a lung in a car accident -- just a tiny little hole, but enough to create havoc with lungs already coping with asthma and allergies. Since then I've had bronchitis every year -- four years ago I had it for six months, to the point of coughing up blood. That was the reason for starting the running program. I figured I was going to die anyway ... .
It all started this way. I remember cycling hard one evening and stopping at my daughter's house. I coughed up blood, scared her a bit, drank a lot of water, used my inhaler and survived. Actually I felt a bit better the next day.
That was my inspiration. If it worked once ...
So initially I alternated running and walking, and when I reached a quarter mile, a runner said he'd coach me. Was I thrilled when I ran three miles. Under his coaching, I ran hard. I'd run till I couldn't breathe. Once I sat on the floor of my shower, drinking coffee between coughing spells, soaking up the steam, waiting for my lungs to quit spasing. But that year's episode with bronchitis lasted just three weeks.
Last winter was a one-week season. Then came the fall of 2005 and I was frustrated because it just didn't seem like I had enough air to run. Combined with a couple injuries, my running has just been lousy. And I whined, not realizing the truth of the matter until the other day. Yes, my lungs were sore, and that isn't fun. But November ... December ... January have gone by without bronchitis. I can't believe I didn't catch on until now. I should have been grateful. I'll take the sore lungs over bronchitis any day. And I'm going to keep running ...
I'm also thankful for encouraging friends who hold me accountable and for Nelson, who reminds me to use my inhaler sooner rather than later, who hikes and cycles with me till it hurts (but not too much). That's hard, real hard. Nobody wants a friend to suffer, but sometimes a little pain really does lead to a lot of gain. Sometimes our friends need us to suffer with them and to cheer them on.

Obedience

I believe in tithing -- 10 percent to the church I attend, plus wherever else I think God leads. Given an income of under $11,000 per year, that stretches me at times (though it never seems to matter how much we make, it never seems like it's enough!).

Anyway a neighbor's brother was burned out the day after Christmas and I felt that I should give a little something to help out. I put it off for a couple weeks, sure I wasn't hearing clearly. Finally I did it, wondering how I'd recover from that financially.

Then a couple weeks ago I received a refund check from Time Warner equal to the amount I gave the neighbor's brother. It's been over six months since I cancelled that Internet account and I didn't even know I had a refund coming.

Then on Saturday I did my income taxes. My refund, because I qualify for earned income credit and because I paid tuition for attending college, is more than the amount I paid in tithe last year.
Please don't misunderstand me .... I'm not saying I give to God because he gives back to me more than I give. Instead giving usually DOES test my faith and I seldom see what happens to that gift nor do I personally see any correlation between my giving and any income. In fact as it stands right now my projected income will drop in half sometime between July and September, so I've been putting money aside to cover the gap just in case I'm not able to replace that income immediately. I've been tempted to put the tithe into the savings account as well. I will put most of upcoming refund into a savings account to help bridge that projected loss in income.

Nonetheless I must say my faith has been boosted and I am encouraged today. It just feels like God is shouting to me, "Hang in there, Nete. I really am still in control. And sometimes, girl, I even let you see Me working."

Set a PR today ... perhaps an all time high one

I busted an old PR today. But first some history to help you appreciate this a bit more.

A BIT OF 2005 HISTORY.
In November I began my third year of running, having begun running at the ripe old age of 46. And I did pretty well the first year, thanks to a running coach. A year ago I actually ran a mile in 7:30. But then on December 3, when hiking, I fell and bounced down a cliff about 25 feet, and then dropped another five feet into an ice-encrusted pond, breaking the ice with my head. The cliff probably had an incline of about 80 degrees. I wasn't seriously hurt -- bone bruises on my left hip and arm, and tailbone, plus some cuts and bumps on my face. When I talked to the coach at the Y, she said to allow two months for healing. So I cut my exercise down to two to three 1/2-hour sessions per week, but didn't cut my intake enough to compensate for the fact I'd be expending fewer calories. So I gained about five pounds. The combination of injury and extra weight has made running hard. Then, too, this is bronchitis season for me, and although I didn't get bronchitis this year, I've had some days when it was difficult to breathe. I've been alternating between cycling on a stationary bike and running on an elliptical machine.

TODAY'S RECORD.
The cycling has improved tremendously and on New Year's Eve day I broke my 2005 5K record, but today I ran 5K in 25:48. If you could compare the elliptical with running ... if the two were calibrated the same, that would break my all-time 5K PR of 25:58 by ten seconds. It's definitely, by all measures, the fastest in over a year -- 8:20 mile pace for the first 3 miles (which I did in exactly 25 minutes). I ran a total of 3.5 miles in under 30 minutes (after I hit 3.1, I did the rest at a jogging/cool-down pace).

GOALS
On Monday I plan to hit the treadmill and see how that goes. But it sure looks like I am on the mend. And I am very grateful. Not too bad for an old lady!