Vision

Nearly ten years ago now, I stood firm for something I believed in. But I was misunderstood and my church accused me of things I hadn't done. It took five years for them to decide I wasn't guilty. By then I had moved on and tried to rebuild a new life. But I was temporarily too disabled to hold a job, my youngest daughter had a breakdown (from which she has now recovered), my mother died, and my husband filed for divorce after we moved to a community where I had just one friend for support. Though the cost was great, standing firm for what I believed in was the right thing to do and I pray that I never forget the lessons learned.

I still sing, "Take my life and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee." But I sing with much less cockiness and much more awareness of the cost that may be required. I sing with much more humility.

I still sing, "Be Thou My Vision, O Lord of Life." But I sing with a much more accurate picture of ALL the possible outcomes of that vision, not just the ones I want and desire.

I still sing, "Blessed be the Name of the Lord...when there's joy in the offering...in the path marked by suffering...He gives and takes away. My heart shall choose to say, 'Blessed be the Name.'" But now I sing with a desperate faith, a faith that says, "I STILL believe! And, God, following you had BETTER be the right thing, because it's all I have left to do."

Thanksgiving is this week, time for my annual review of purpose, vision, goals. Almost as if God is already preparing me for this task, the verses on which I stood so firmly 9.5 years ago, have come to mind repeatedly over the last several weeks -- in sermons, in e-mails, and in my ponderings. Even in my law classes, the subject of purpose and ethics have arisen. And 2007 will be a year of significant choices, one of which is, "What will I do after graduation?"

The Bible says, "Without vision, the people perish." I think the year 2007 will be the year in which my vision, basically unchanged from 1997, will be refined, restored, renewed, rebuilt--and once again entrenched firmly within my spirit. This must happen over the next few months because, once I enter the legal arena, temptations to compromise will appear. I pray that I remember that the right choice is worth the cost. And I pray that one day, My Father in Heaven will one day be able to say, "You have been faithful. Today you shall be with Me in paradise."